Perhaps you need a really good fight?
January 8, 2015 Comments Off on Perhaps you need a really good fight?

PsychCentral

For some people, this is a truly radical idea: There is no need to fight with your partner. Ever. Accusations, recriminations, character assassination, threats, name-calling, and cursing, whether delivered at top volume or with a quiet sarcastic sneer, damage a relationship, often irrevocably. Nobody needs to be a monster or to be treated monstrously. Nobody who yells will ever be heard. In the heat of a moment, it is always a choice whether to go for a run or run your partner down.
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Maybe you should resolve to fix it instead?
January 1, 2015 Comments Off on Maybe you should resolve to fix it instead?

Science Blog –

“The vast majority of people get married during their lifetimes, and what is known is that, on average, satisfaction declines,” Lavner said. “So the question is, how do couples’ problems actually change? So many people enter marriage happily, but then go on to struggle. What explains that disconnect?”

The study used data from 169 newlywed couples assessed eight times over the first four years of marriage to examine how couples’ marital problems changed. Ratings of 19 specific problems indicated that couples’ difficulties in areas such as in-laws, household management, amount of time spent together and unrealistic expectations do not change.
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What keeps you doing such crazy things?
December 19, 2014 Comments Off on What keeps you doing such crazy things?

QZ

Much of what Siegel wants us to consider can be condensed into a simple phrase: “what fires together, wires together.” The idea is that when a set of neurons are stimulated, they link up with all those other neurons that are simultaneously firing. Whether the groups of neurons that are linking make sense to us as observers on the outside is beside the point. Odd pairings can occur, strange juxtapositions of feelings and sensations that, outside of the experience of a particular individual, seem almost impossible to the rest of us. I’m reminded of a narrative in the old DSM-IV casebook that describes an individual who had come to associate sexual arousal with being covered in insects.
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Perhaps you can make do on a little less sleep?
December 3, 2014 Comments Off on Perhaps you can make do on a little less sleep?

Forbes –

According to the Division of Sleep Medicine at the Harvard Medical School, the short-term productivity gains from skipping sleep to work are quickly washed away by the detrimental effects of sleep deprivation on your mood, ability to focus, and access to higher-level brain functions for days to come. The negative effects of sleep deprivation are so great that people who are drunk outperform those lacking sleep.
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You know you need to apologize…
October 9, 2014 Comments Off on You know you need to apologize…

NYMag

“The basic idea is that we are highly motivated to maintain a positive image of ourselves – an image of self-integrity, morality, and adequacy,” Schumann said in an email. And this, she reasons, is why apologizing can suck so very much: Having to admit that our words or actions hurt someone else threatens the image of our ideal self. So it makes sense that so many apologies are so bad. We get defensive, so we justify our behaviour, all to protect our egos.
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Do you know what to ask a narcissist?
September 18, 2014 Comments Off on Do you know what to ask a narcissist?

Psychology Today

But researchers have recently found that, if you just want an overall view of narcissism, you can replace that 40-question inventory with one question: “How narcissistic are you?”

The key insight is that people who are narcissists aren’t embarrassed by it, so they don’t hold back on saying so. People who are not narcissistic would feel ashamed to be seen as such, so they rate themselves low on the scale.

“People who are narcissists are almost proud of the fact.
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What predicts a happy and fulfilled life?
September 4, 2014 Comments Off on What predicts a happy and fulfilled life?

Art of Manliness –

Nothing quite like the Grant Study has ever been attempted; as Vaillant puts it, this research represents “one of the first vantage points the world has ever had on which to stand and look prospectively at a man’s life from eighteen to ninety.” The mountains of data collected over more than seven decades have become a rich trove for examining what factors present in a man’s younger years best predict whether he will be successful and happy into old age.
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Understanding domestic violence
April 5, 2014 Comments Off on Understanding domestic violence

FBI/US Dept of Justice

For years, the party line on family violence has been the starkly one-sided view of the above-linked PDF. Basically, the message has been that there is always a victim and a perpetrator — the latter of which gets to live in servile fear until (usually) she flees and justice is served (or she ends up dead.)
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Does someone you know need help?
December 23, 2013 Comments Off on Does someone you know need help?

PsychCentral

To get the outcome you want, you need to attentively listen to the person complain about the problem in order to find a non-confronting way in. Focus on normalizing the problem – making it seem like a normal, everyday behaviour – and creating an alliance with the person. Do not be tempted to offer advice, which comes across as “I’m normal; you’re not.”
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Adjusting your happiness set-point
December 14, 2013 Comments Off on Adjusting your happiness set-point

Huffington Post

One theory in psychology research suggests that we all have a happiness “set-point” that largely determines our overall well-being. We oscillate around this set point, becoming happier when something positive happens or the opposite, afterwards returning to equilibrium.
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Session Notes

Perhaps you need a really good fight?

Maybe you should resolve to fix it instead?

What keeps you doing such crazy things?

Perhaps you can make do on a little less sleep?

You know you need to apologize…

Do you know what to ask a narcissist?

What predicts a happy and fulfilled life?

Understanding domestic violence

Does someone you know need help?

Adjusting your happiness set-point

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