Session Notes

AlterNet

For me, good means that you are in the moment with me, that you respect my desires as worthy, and that you pay attention when I express myself verbally and non-verbally. And I, of course, will make every effort to do the same for you.

So what was the magic question? What did he ask that leapfrogged us from normal to special?

“How do you get yourself off,” he asked, “when you’re all alone?” I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Psychology Today

Female desire, according to Meana, is activated when a woman feels overwhelmingly desired, not rationally considered. Female erotic literature, including all those shades of gray, is built on this fantasy. Sexual desire in this view does not work according to our expectations and social values. Desire seeks the path of desire, not the path of righteousness. It thrives not on social order but on its negation. This is one reason all religions and societies try to control, contain, limit and re-direct it.

NY Times –

A study called “Egalitarianism, Housework and Sexual Frequency in Marriage,” which appeared in The American Sociological Review last year, surprised many, precisely because it went against the logical assumption that as marriages improve by becoming more equal, the sex in these marriages will improve, too. Instead, it found that when men did certain kinds of chores around the house, couples had less sex.